so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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