I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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