oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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