Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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