so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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