I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
