i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
