yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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