hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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