I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
