i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
