I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
