ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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