Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
