i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
