at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
