That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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