I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is wine microwaveable?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
