Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
