Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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