he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
