u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I love having hate sex.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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