I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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