you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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