I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
