Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
