Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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