she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
