Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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