You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
be right there i have to get my cape
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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