I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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