I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
