Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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