No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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