Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize