Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Operation Purity has been aborted
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Less talking, more tequila
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
