i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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