Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
