i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
