It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
