I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
