just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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