I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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