so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
