just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
