Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
