I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
