I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I enjoy the company of your penis
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
