just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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