You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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