She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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