Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
