No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
