I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
