her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
