i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
