ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
