Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
