it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This is classic penis vs brain.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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