I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
