That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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