whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
