I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
